Hello, beautiful friend!
I’m so glad you are here. Today is Marriage Monday, and I want to share with you my top 7 habits for a healthy marriage that have changed my relationship and made it so much better.
I want to disclaim, however, that we are not perfect. And that there is no such thing as perfection when it comes to marriage. We try our best to stick to these habits, but sometimes we miss. And that’s ok.
I would also like to tell you that it has taken us five years to get to where we are today in our marriage. We’ve had seasons where our marriage was not healthy, but thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ, we have been able to rise above and through hard work and persistence, get to a place where we are at peace and in love with each other, more than ever before.
I share these habits hoping to inspire you not to keep fighting for your marriage and that by implementing some or all of these, your relationship would significantly improve.
1) Take time out to cool down when arguments escalate.
At the beginning of our marriage, I recognized a pattern. Every time I would scream my head off and said everything I could think off to hurt my husband, I would immediately regret it and could hardly understand how could I have said such horrible things.
Jerrod felt somewhat the same. He would be so quick to apologize right after we had a disagreement but felt like it would, of course, be better to minimize the reasons to apologize for.
So we started implementing time outs. We would say something like’ “I feel angry because of what you are saying, so I would rather finish this convo later.”
It’s helped us so much not cut each other down and having less disrespectful conversations.
2) Compromise as often as you need to.
At the beginning of our marriage, we still had a “singles” way of thinking. What I mean is thinking only for your best interest or making sure things go your way.
We soon realized that if we wanted to have a healthy lasting marriage, we need to learn how to compromise often.
So we try our best to put ourselves in each other’s shoes when we don’t see eye to eye on things. And, we give in a little to what the other person wants.
3) Forgive quickly
I had such a hard time learning how to do this one. I’ve lived my whole life internalizing things that hurt me and holding grudges until the other person would apologize for a minimum of one thousand times before I would decide to forgive them.
I know, horrible. But I know you probably do this to so, don’t judge me.
But I saw how quick Jerrod would be to turn around and forgive me for my crazy self so that inspire me to learn to do the same.
Phew. I can finally put things in the past and leave them there!
4) Regular date nights.
This one is huge. We use to think that because we coexist in the same house and see each other every day, that we didn’t need time alone. What in the world would we do in that time that we didn’t already do in our day to day, right?
When we started to implement date nights, we saw the tremendous impact it had in our communication and, therefore, romance and connection.
Even if you can’t go out every week, try to set aside some time during the week that is specially assigned to be quality time spent together.
5) Designate a family day
Jerrod and I are not just husband and wife, we are also mom and dad. That’s why kids play a massive part in our marriage. Therefore, our relationship needs to have time set aside to spend as a family.
This helps us connect to each other in a whole different way. In these days is where we invest in our legacy and our future generations.
Family days are for us to connect with our kids and experience things together so we can build a better family team.
6) Establish a family meeting time
So Jerrod would do something that hurt me, and I would want to talk about it at the moment, and he would always say it was a wrong moment to talk about it (because it was usually late at night ) But then we would just never talk about it until the situation presented itself again.
And this cycle would keep going on and on and on and on again.
So we now have a set day when we have our family meeting. This is the assigned perfect time to talk about not just what bothers us biut also about what makes us happy and excited. We talk about what is going good in our lives and what could be improved.
It’s a fantastic feeling to know that we will for sure have time to discuss the problematic matters when we are both ready and mentally prepared to do so.
That’s it for today beautiful friend. Thanks for spending a few minutes with me. If you liked this post, make sure to join my email list and never miss one. And if you want to be a part of this conversation, leave me a comment below, and we can chat more about this.
You are so loved.