How To Avoid Bitterness in Ministry

Hello, beautiful friend! 

If this is your first time here, welcome, I’m so glad to have you in my little corner of the internet. I hope you stay awhile. And if you are coming back… EEEKKK HEY, GURL HEY! 

Today’s topic was an unplanned one. I asked some of my fellow pastor’s wives if they had a mentor, what would they ask her. To my surprise, almost unanimously, they said How to not be bitter in ministry?

I was expecting answers that were more on the skill-related or maybe more on the event ideas side. But it broke my heart to hear about the pain that women lead with, in ministry.

I, too, have felt the same way. 

Ministry is a constant uphill journey with a lot of betrayal and abuse of trust involved, so it’s not for the faint of heart. Ministry is such a particular vocation because you invest not just your time and resources but also if you are doing it right, your whole heart.

So it’s not just a job. It’s a calling and a lifestyle. This gig requires vulnerability and more availability than other vocations. 

This type of work and lifestyle leaves so much room for offense and bitterness. But it doesn’t have to. 

I believe bitterness, discouragement, and disappointment are a result of wrong expectations. 

When we expect people to treat us different than people treated Christ, well, they always fall short of our expectations. Our Lord made it so clear that people were going to mistreat us just like they did to Him.

This warning was for every Christian in the body. But it applies even more to leaders of the faith because we not only put up with the world persecuting us. Sadly, most times are our church members doing the accusing and the betraying.

 “If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you” John 15:18

The problem is that we expect the opposite of the warning. 

We want people to be kind to us and to make it easy to lead them.  And honestly, most people are. But there is always those few or that someone that comes against you and your family. And you need to prepare mentally for this to happen. It’s not weird or abnormal for someone to do things to hurt you. 

What you need to understand is that you have the power in you to rise above whoever tries to attack you.

Yes! If you are in Christ, then He is in you, and He gives you the power over all the power of the enemy.

“Look, I have given you the authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy; nothing at all will harm you.”  Luke 10:19

So even when Satan uses people that you love against you, you can choose to protect your heart and not take it personally. Instead, look at it from a different perspective. 

People in the church are hurting people. Jesus came for those that were sick, not healthy. 

“When Jesus heard this, he told them, “It is not those who are well who need a doctor, but those who are sick. I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

So, the people in the church are sick in need a healer His name is Jesus. And if you are bitter or hurt or sick, then you need this healer too. 

He is enough to help heal your heart and heal their shortcomings.

I learned to lean on him to help me love people even through their rudeness or disrespect. 

That’s it from me today beautiful. If you liked this post, make sure you join my email list not to miss any posts. And If you would like to be part of this conversation, leave me a comment below and I would love to chat more about this.

You are so loved.

tight hugs,


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